Honesty Isn't Enough: The Intersection Of Authenticity And Empathy

Honesty Isn't Enough: The Intersection Of Authenticity And Empathy Some people are naturally authentic. I am not. When I was a kid, I was bullied at summer camp. It was rough, and at ten years old I made a vow to myself to never be the reject again. I chose to hone my social skills so finely I would be popular for the rest of my life. And in that moment, I became a pleaser. Rather than saying what was on my mind, I trained myself to guess what people wanted to hear from me. So I would say the right thing. And be liked. This became my pattern, woven deeply into the fabric of my personality. But for the past three years I’ve worked to unravel the threads. I made a conscious decision to stop optimizing my life to be popular and, instead, to focus on being authentic. It took extreme actions. I took a trip around the world recently and decided to overcome every physical fear I had, from SCUBA diving to zip lining to bungee jumping. Only after these terrifying moments did I gain the confidence to tackle my biggest fear: speaking up for myself. In short, I’m a huge fan of authenticity. I think about it, write about it and talk it up. Others do, too. It’s a trend among spiritual people, millennials and in the business world. Harvard Business School professor Bill George wrote an extraordinary book called Discover Your True North and developed one of the most popular classes at the school, on authentic leadership. His work is excellent. But sometimes too much of a good thing can become a bad thing.